Creative Discipline

As foster parents, my husband and I recently acquired three "new" children, ages 2, 5 and 7. While we love having them, and overall, they're good kids, it's been a challenge to get them to do what we tell them to do.

Although I believe that spanking - not whipping, and there is a difference! - when administered by a loving parent works, part of the fostering agreement is that we will not use any form of corporal punishment. This makes discipline especially difficult since our two-year-old, in particular, has basically been raised by his seven-year-old sister and allowed to do as he pleased. If he were my natural child, I would spank his padded bottom or tap his little hands at times to get my message across. But that's not allowed in this situation. And since it's been nearly 15 years since we had young children in our home, and my creative discipline skills were pretty rusty, I went online to research other options.

In no particular order, here are some things I discovered, or re- discovered, as the case may be:

* Effective discipline comes from having a strong, loving relationship with your child. If your child knows he is loved and liked, it will be much easier to make him mind you.

* Is your child hungry? Tired? Not feeling well? Wearing a wet diaper? Basic, unmet needs can create behavioral problems, especially in very young children.

* Distract your child with another activity. This doesn't work for every child, or in every situation, but many times you can offer an alternative that will help your child refocus on an appropriate and acceptable behavior. You might give it a try before resorting to other measures.

* Let your child know your expectations, and the consequences of disobedience, in advance. Knowing the rules will help them understand what they need to do and what will happen if they don't follow the rules.

* Administer discipline in love. Even though you may be angry, and EVERY parent gets angry at one time or another, use a firm, but loving tone of voice when correcting your child. Harsh words have a harmful and lasting effect on young psyches - and old ones, for that matter!

* Praise your child whenever possible. Praise builds the desire within your child to please. Continued praise will help your child see how good "being good" feels.

* NEVER insult your child or call him a demeaning name! Treat him with love and respect and he'll learn love and respect for others.

While there are many more wonderful ideas available online and in print, these are a few of the basics that I've come across in my search for help in creatively disciplining my children. They've helped me deal with some lively children who are struggling to adapt to a new home and new situation. Hopefully, they'll help you, too!

Article copyright © 2003 by Darlene Bishop. All rights reserved worldwide.

Darlene "Dee" Bishop is a writer and creative designer with decades on online experience and the owner of Bishop's Corner, an online/catalog shop offering hundreds of quality gifts, home decor items, toys, housewares, furniture and more with nearly 1,000 products under $20. Visit her online store today at http://BishopsTN.com.

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